Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
