I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
i think we sleep fucked last night...
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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