2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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