Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
How external is "for external use only"?
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
