Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
