She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Randomize
