Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Randomize
