its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
