My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
