my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I would fuck him just for his dog
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
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