Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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