Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize