How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
I love having hate sex.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
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