I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
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