You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
As shirtless as possible
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Randomize
