What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
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