i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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