it wasn't lemon gatorade
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
being pregnant is like rehab
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
