Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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