there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Randomize
