Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
