Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
