My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Randomize
