so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
