just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Randomize
