Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
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