Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
