wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
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