I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize