i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Randomize
