I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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