Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
