please come you make the beer taste better
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
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