Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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