it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
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