we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
