Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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