WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
