i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
A bitchslap is in order.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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