If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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