why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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