I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
how drunk are you?
Several
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
