so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
