my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize