I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
