I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Randomize
