WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
