we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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