i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
