it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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