I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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