oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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