Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
My vagina just recognized that song.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
