We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
