Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
