You're my little dorito
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
